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Joke of the Day

"You only have one childhood, it may as well last your entire life."

"[Dog yoga class] Teacher: Alright, let's go into downward human pose [Dogs hunch over and start pretending to text]"

"Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm? Because he couldn't resistor... Old but classic!"

"Why don't you starve in the desert? Because of the sand which is there."

"Pauly D from Jersey Shore was at the Dance party where Chuck Norris invented the Electric Slide. His hair is now permanently stuck in a blowout position."

"Ok, don't let them know you're a puma Interviewer: We're very impressed! You've got the job! ""REALLY!?! I'M SO HAPPY I JUST PUMA PANTS"""

"OH in the bathroom: ""Thank God I have another pair of panties in my bag, I shit all over these"". What. The. Fuck."

"Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen that said 'Parking Fine'."

"A ghost walks into a bar ""Sorry sir"" the barmen says, ""We don't serve spirits after eleven"""

"Why do I see so many broken condoms outside? Honey, those are called ""children"" and should be treated as such."