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Joke of the Day

"I got a call at work telling me my daughter missed period number 3. When I woke up in the ambulance it turns out it was the school calling."

"Why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend? Because...bros before hose!"

"Riddle, you see a guy You see a guy on the street talking to himself. What's his nationality? He's a Babylonian."

"People who say ""adorbs"" make me miserbs"

"Community college"

"You know, I used to hate my haircut... ... but it's really growing on me!"

"What do teenage terrorists drink? Smirnoff ISIS"

"Is there a Twitter acronym for ""Ur screenshot tweet is really funny, but my anxiety about ur phone battery % prevents me from enjoying it""?"

"Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane? Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?"

"I can't stand it when people don't know the difference between your and you're. There so stupid."