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Joke of the Day
"What workout routine did Jesus stick to best? Crossfit"
Next Joke
"A Kindergarten teacher in Detroit asks her class what sound a pig makes... A boy in the back of the class stands up and yells, ""FREEZE MOTHA FUCKA"""
"You're not fucking handicapped, you're fat. You should have a parking spot 6 miles away and be required to jumping jack to the store."
"Optimus Prime: so it's settled. I'll be a huge cool truck, Bumblebee you're a camaro. Any questions? [Dan the station wagon raises his hand]"
"Why do cow wear bells? Why do cow wear bells .......???? Because their don't work :D :P"
"[Drives date home] ME [stops and revs engine sexily] I had a great time tonight DATE: [climbs off my lawnmower] I did not"
"What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military? A Sweeping Generalization."
"What's the difference between a sausage dog and a market trader? One bawls his wares out on the street..."
"Two peanuts walk out of a bar one was assaulted( a salted)......peanut"
"To punish me, my 2yr old shuts herself in her room. She can shut, but not open, doors. She ends up trapped in a self-imposed timeout. #irony"