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Joke of the Day

"You're not fucking handicapped, you're fat. You should have a parking spot 6 miles away and be required to jumping jack to the store."

"What did one suicide bomber say to the other? ""Dude, I don't think it worked."""

"People call me ugly until they see my wallet Then they call me poor"

"I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Did you hear about the power surge across the street? I heard it was a shocking experience."

"Where does a redditor get most of his news from? The Hydraulic Press"

"I had sex with a waitress and it was terrible. She just wanted the tip."

"Oscar Pistorius misunderstood his girlfriend... when she said: ""for Valentines day, can you take me out?"""

"Your stick figure family window sticker promotes an unrealistic and unhealthy body image for your children."

"What do you call a guy who has sex with bums? A hobosexual."