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Joke of the Day

"Some jokes are like doctors... They get better with repeated deliveries."

"I think the same thing every time I pass one of those ""slow children"" signs... MAN, does this heroin make my skin itch!"

"At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting."

"How many republicans does it take so screw in a light bulb? None, Obama's already screwed it for you. (Thanks, Obama)"

"All it takes is a ""food dreadful, service poor"" Yelp review to get your mother-in-law to stop inviting you to Sunday dinner."

"How do you think the whole Deflategate situation feels to Tom Brady now? Probably doesn't feel how he prefers it to..."

"Hellen Keller walks into a bar... She now has a bruise on her forehead..."

"People keep getting mad when I say I'm a God.... ... They all say I have a me complex"

"An officer was fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job... No exact details were given to the public, but he was a high wanking officer"

"What's Batman's favorite food? Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na"