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Joke of the Day

"A Kindergarten teacher in Detroit asks her class what sound a pig makes... A boy in the back of the class stands up and yells, ""FREEZE MOTHA FUCKA"""

"Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists."

"The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimist says the glass is half full. The reposter says the glass is half full"

"What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? The ground!"

"I just saw a documentary about how ships are held together. Riveting."

"Try to eat 70,000 small meals a day to keep your metabolism on its toes."

"Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit? Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola."

"My entry for the shortest joke in the world congress"

"Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee? 'Cause they hate the French press"

"I'm starting to think my crippled neighbor is gay. I am not sure if I should call him a fruit or a vegetable"