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Joke of the Day

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, ""Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"", says the parrot."

"I'd like to thank the British for wearing red coats and making it easier to shoot them 238 years ago. We couldn't have done this without you"

"If you haven't taken at least 25,000 pictures of your cat then you shouldn't have a cat."

"How do you titilate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot."

"Legally, you don't actually have to ever stop screaming."

"My grandpa told me this before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"What's the boob of a nun called? Sanctity."

"I was more nervous than a whore in church to tell you this But your about as useless as tits on a nun"

"What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito? A mosquito can ""fly"", but a fly can not ""mosquito""."

"A #colon has only two job options: become a punctuation mark, or work for an asshole."