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Joke of the Day
"How do you titilate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot."
Next Joke
"Look at the name 'Morgan Freeman' and then TRY not to read things in Morgan Freeman's voice. See? You can't."
"A friend that steals your tortilla chips is nacho friend."
"MY KNUTS My nuts hurt so bad. Doctor says I'll have to chop em."
"[at a bar] me: hey girl are u a wanted criminal girl: no me: oh ok [to a group of cops] shes not here, search the other building"
"I don't think anyone would be surprised if Captain Morgan was arrested for Boating Under the Influence."
"A man is taking a picture of a koala This has some really great koalaty"
"If athletes get athlete's foot then what do astronauts get? Missile toe."
"Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror? To see how she looks like when sleeping."
"Guess What My Friend Said Once They Discovered The Existence of Gravitational Waves? Friend: Good, now they will make microwaves that cook my chicken fingers faster. Say what now?"