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Joke of the Day

"What is the longest word in the english language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"""

"Archaeologists have discovered a mummy in Egypt encased in chocolate and surrounded by hazelnuts They are calling it ""The Pharaoh Rocher"""

"You can park your car anywhere you want as long as you turn on your emergency blinkers. It's one of the more obscure lifehacks out there"

"I was working in the yard. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a snake. I hit it with a shovel. I'm happy to report the garden hose is dead"

"i was with my mother and i asked if i could go some where and no and i said, their are starving kids in africa she said I don't give a fuck give them a sandwich"

"So there's this new music attraction at SeaWorld featuring some guy they call Squid Barrett. They refer to themselves as Ink Floyd."

"Dumb joke I thought of while bored at work. Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict? You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines."

"My son played soccer in the mud all day. He was a little Messi."

"Heard this one from my trumpet playing band director Does anyone know the Trumpeteer handshake? ""Hi, I'm better than you"""

"Not sure if my cooking skills have improved or taste buds have adapted."