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Joke of the Day

"Heard this one from my trumpet playing band director Does anyone know the Trumpeteer handshake? ""Hi, I'm better than you"""

"Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?"

"I typed ""Cigarettes"" in the search bar and it said ""No Matches"". The universe has spoken."

"if u think ur house is haunted get a cat. whooshing sound? it's the cat. hear footsteps? def the cat. unseen being devouring your soul? cat."

"""If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly how did it fall off?"" Interviewer: I meant about the job. Me: Oh.... no I'm good."

"Yesterday I gave my seat to a blind man. Today I lost my job as a bus driver."

"What kind of chicken is circumcised and suffers from E.D.? A boneless, skinless chicken!"

"Did you hear what they found in Jeffrey Dahmer's freezer? Ben and Jerry"

"Why are teachers always making answer keys? So they can open doors of opportunity for their students."

"I used to be addicted to soap but I'm clean now."