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Joke of the Day

"What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler."

"My phone just autocorrected mornin to Mormon and now it won't stop making macaroni pictures and having sex with multiple phone wives."

"I like my coffee black... So it steals my fatigue."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty sleeping bags."

"I texted my ex, I'm at a cemetery..... wish you were here."

"Want to piss off a female archeologist? Show her a used tampon and ask what period it's from. Wakka wakka!"

"So a Jew, a blonde, and a Narcissistic billionaire walks into a bar... Then the bartender says: These presidental elections are starting to seem like a joke."

"If it ain't broke, I haven't borrowed it yet."

"What would an employee only entrance to a brothel be called in Westeros? A Hodor..."

"A joke the owner of the pizzeria I work at told me while listening to Beethoven. Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? Because it wouldn't stop saying ""Bach, Bach, Bach."""