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Joke of the Day

"My son played soccer in the mud all day. He was a little Messi."

"Reading an article about how more kids are ""experimenting with drugs""... What does that mean? More kids tripping in lab coats?"

"Hi I'm 37 yrs old. According to folklore, I've swallowed 259 spiders, 47 moths, 3 coyotes, and a grizzly bear in my sleep since I was born."

"Did you hear about the argument between a fire and the sun? It got really heated."

"Noses are red, violets are blue. It ain't love darling, you got flu."

"Based on my family's hatred for vegetables and always throwing them in the garbage, I hope I'm never in a coma."

"What did the testicle say to the other testicle? ""Between you and me, I think something's up."" I'm slightly tipsy, this is probably a terrible joke. Merry Christmas!"

"Q: Why do pigs make good spies? A: They're excellent at going in-hog-nito."

"Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint CNN reports that both crews are marooned"

"I hosted an Orgy at a camp ground the other day... It was fucking in-tents"