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Joke of the Day

"How does King Arthur take his pills? An African or European swallow"

"I was gonna make a joke about sluts... ...but it would just be whoreable."

"New Jared Sub Subway has came out with a new sub this week called the Jared Sub. It is 37 year old salami sandwiched between 10 year old buns."

"Oral B is sponsoring tonight's NASCAR race. That seems like an odd choice for a sponsorship, considering most NASCAR fans don't even have teeth."

"I would've thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited 'til it was dark instead."

"What does the Michael Jackson action figure have written on the back of the box? Not suitable for children. Colors may vary."

"Canada's got it right, when they don't want a citizen, they just convince them they have talent so they move to the US. #JustinBeiber"

"What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with diarrhea? The corn farmer shucks between fits, whilst the prostitute fucks between shits."

"Did anyone happen to DVR Twitter for me? I missed the last 3 weeks and I would like to fast forward through all the Justin Bieber parts."

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it."