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Joke of the Day

"What does the Michael Jackson action figure have written on the back of the box? Not suitable for children. Colors may vary."

"""What's math?"" - people who give 110%"

"Why did the heart get sent to police station? Cardiac arrest."

"What's an amphibian's favorite musician? John Frogerty"

"There are two things you need to understand to be successful. 1. Never tell anyone everything you know. 2."

"I was grinding on a girl in a club last night and she said to me, ""Will you please take your skateboard and f#ck off!"""

"If a girl texts you back ""k"" check all your previous messages to see where you fu*ked up."

"I used to be afraid of the dentist But now I know the drill."

"I hate when the urinal auto-flushes while I'm still using it. Did I just cease to exist? Am I back now? If not, where am I peeing?"

"Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?"