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Joke of the Day

"I would've thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited 'til it was dark instead."

"Did you hear about the guy who wanted to put OJ Simpson's knife on display? He was caught trying to frame it"

"6 made coffee for me this morning, I'm now thinking that she can never move out of the house"

"How do you make five pounds of fat look attractive? put a nipple on it."

"That awkward moment when your girlfriend and side chick are both pregnant... ...and you realize you have to tell your wife."

"What do you get when you cross a railroad with a refrigerator? Killed."

"When I die, can you do me a favor and tell my wife that I loved her? Thanks. Oh and delete my tweets. My password is thisbitchiskillingme."

"I don't know why /r/deadbedrooms complains so much about starfish sex. Personally, it really turns me on when her arms grow back."

"I recently won a punctuation competition. My prize was an apos-*trophy*."

"Gimmie a topic and I'll make a joke. Go."