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Joke of the Day

"What do STDs and jokes have in common? They're both easily spread."

"Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?"

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."

"I could tell my parents truly loved me as a child. My bath toys were a toaster, radio and a blow dyer."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after three HOs."

"What do you call a fake noodle an impasta"

"Me: You'll always be my girl. Daughter: Even if I break stuff? Me: Depends on which stuff."

"Did you know crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet? But most only have 4 :)"

"[first date] ""so what do you do?"" *thinking about the jar of coins I plan to use for new shrubs* I'm a hedge fund manager"

"I used to work at a knife factory but then it got dull."