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Joke of the Day

"I want to give my ex a great Valentines present to show him how much I still care. I think I'll go all out and buy him a Toyota."

"Why do pirates love sunny weather? Because there's lots of AYE ARRR (IR) radiation!"

"A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression... It's called Trycoxagain"

"starting to realize that maybe the only reason i go to see movies in theaters is so i dont hav to face my reflection during dimly lit scenes"

"A grasshopper walks into a bar . . . A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender: Ya know, we have a drink named after you! Grasshopper: You have a drink named Steve?"

"It's true that blacks can be racist too! But just like everything else in life, whites are always better at it."

"Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way."

"The Marines are a department of the Navy... The Men's Department"

"What's the hardest part of a vegatable to eat? The wheelchair."

"My goal weight is to stop hearing 'you have a great personality'"