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Joke of the Day

"DATE: ...so that's how I ended up at Harvard Law! ME: Sometimes I make a fruit salad in my mouth by biting into different kinds of fruit LOL"

"*Feels the cool breeze caressing my skin* Cool breeze: I have a girlfriend"

"I have a really funny dick Girls laugh every time they see it."

"I opened a window to let a fly out... and three more flew in, along with five mosquitoes, three ladybugs, a bird, and a Jehovah's Witness."

"I had an idea for a plane with no wings but it never really took off."

"Apparently one in three people cheat. I wonder if it's my wife or my girlfriend."

"Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' police time :("

"TIL Walmart is the richest company in the world by revenue This is the right sub, bitches!"

"What do gay horses eat? Hayyyy"

"I jump out of bushes to give surprise breast exams. I save lives. nnThe police are on the lookout for me. Probably to give me an award."