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Joke of the Day

"What is your funniest joke about the French? Mine is this: How do you pick out the Frenchmen in a room full of naked soldiers? They're the ones with sunburned armpits."

"Believe everything your tv tells you (sponges can talk, turtles eat pizza, love is real)"

"Why are my jokes strikingly similar to your sperm? They're killed almost instantly by assholes."

"Racist humor ;) Why are there so many black people in Detroit??? It's because they heard there was no jobs there."

"What do you call a Death Sentence for a Movie Theater Shooting? Too much to ask for."

"I can see 4 years into the future 20/20 Vision"

"""Hey, careful with that iPod, man, that was expensive."" ""So? You didn't pay for it."" And that's how my kid learned the truth about Santa."

"I was born during the great depression... My mothers."

"How did Matthew McConaughey masturbate after breaking his left arm? All right all right all right."

"Relationship status: my period comes more often than I do."