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Joke of the Day
"Why are my jokes strikingly similar to your sperm? They're killed almost instantly by assholes."
Next Joke
"If a candidate takes Virginia.. it will make his caucus hard."
"""I never weigh myself"" -People who weigh themselves daily"
"Autocorrect, no matter how many times I tell you, I don't want anyone's duck in my can't."
"Why did the black med student wait all day at the rear entrance of the student cafeteria? Because his professor told his class they were going to spend the entire next day at a bacteria conference."
"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive They would eventually find me attractive."
"A police officer walks into a bar. He shoots it and claims self defense."
"scientist 1: how did you discover that dolphins have sex for pleasure? scientist 2: [flashback to the craziest night of their life] math"
"There was a blackout in my neighbourhood last night....... The police told us to stay inside until they caught him."
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result but I still get up every morning."