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Joke of the Day

"How did Matthew McConaughey masturbate after breaking his left arm? All right all right all right."

"This one time, a work colleague declared The Avengers to be a better film than The Dark Knight. That was a busy day in HR, I can tell you."

"What's the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment. I'll see myself out."

"What do black people get after death? Nigger mortis"

"Took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm because the loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy."

"Whats your favourite brand of beer? When i was younger, i used to drink any brand of beer, but now i am older Budweiser"

"[META] /r/germanhumour For all fans of [German humour](/r/germanhumour)."

"Did you hear about the 3 new types of Barbie dolls? There's tall, short, and great personality"

"What is the difference between a banana and a bell? You can only peel (peal) the banana once."

"What do a crematorium and an auditorium have in common? It's apparently frowned upon to jerk off in either."