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Joke of the Day

"Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again."

"5 years ago today I asked the girl of my dreams to go out with me. Today, I asked her to get married... She said no both times. ;("

"What's the difference between a Therapist and The Rapist? Just a little space"

"Son, when a man and a woman love each other very much that means they've probably only been dating 6-8 months."

"Every morning Tom Cruise announces how many Latinos moved into his neighborhood. He calls it the Minority Report."

"[at checkout counter] Would ya like to donate $1 to- -No But you didn't let me finish -Is it $1 toward you shutting your mouth? No -Then no"

"Why do men run faster than women rolling friction is lesser than sliding friction"

"TIL That I'm NEVER getting prostate cancer"

"The tree and the wind. What does a tree say after it gets knocked over by the wind? I went out on a limb."

"Bernie Sanders walks into a bar and he redistributes all of the drinks until everyone has the same amount of alcohol ..."