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Joke of the Day

"[at checkout counter] Would ya like to donate $1 to- -No But you didn't let me finish -Is it $1 toward you shutting your mouth? No -Then no"

"I walk the walk. I talk the talk. But mostly I sit the sit."

"I bought a metal detector. Beach better have my money."

"I heard that they're coming up with a new Tron movie which deals with particle physics... Its called new-Tron."

"I don't care how funny you are, if I don't like you, I won't laugh."

"How do moms from West Virginia know when their daughters start their period? Their son's dick starts tasting like blood"

"What's gonna happen if Hilary Clinton gets elected as President. The kitchen staff are gonna wonder why she's missing."

"Ask me if I'm a bear How am I supposed to BEAR comments like that one?"

"""That's so raven."" - bird watcher"

"Daughter announced there will be rain for Thanksgiving. We usually have turkey but with her cooking skills rain will taste better."