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Joke of the Day

"*puts on mistletoe hat* *casually walks by you multiple times*"

"Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents. Guess the price has adjusted for inflation."

"Did you hear about the bear attack at that Chinese Zoo? It was Pandemonium."

"What did George Takei say to the attractive Frenchman on waterskis? Eau myyyyyyyy...."

"I came across a lost kid in my neighborhood the other day Now I have to register everywhere I live and put a sign in my yard :("

"The Walking Dead. Or better known as The Running Living."

"Toaster are like gremlins for people who are on a diet or don't want to kill themselves. 1. Do not get wet 2. Do not feed after midnight"

"The forest animals are about to rip me apart but suddenly they back off. Hillary Clinton emerges from the trees. The animals bow their heads"

"It's like my nana always said, ""If you choose your friends wisely, you'll never have good drugs."""

"What Is The Best Boxing A Mexican Does? A: Oranges."