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Joke of the Day

"The forest animals are about to rip me apart but suddenly they back off. Hillary Clinton emerges from the trees. The animals bow their heads"

"Why girls live longer than boys???? SHOPPING"" never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,""PAYING the ""BILLS"" does"

"A golfer bought a six pack of beer but he had to take it back... because there was a hole-in-one"

"Prognosis? Doctors are reporting that a man was admitted to the hospital last week and found to have at least a dozen plastic horses inserted in his rectum. His condition is ""stable""."

"Which wrestler's weakness is the rain? Dwayne Johnson"

"I'm always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones"

"Wanna here a joke? Women's rights. Sorry if this has been posted before."

"I think weed is messing with my memory. I can't remember shit anymore! I think it's because weed is messing with my memory."

"MTV has named Miley Cyrus the best artist of 2013. Kinda fitting I guess, since MTV has no idea what music is anymore..."

"There was a young couple having sex in the pool. I walked up to the lifeguard and said, ""Aren't you going to do anything?"" He said, ""I might have a wank if you leave me alone."""