205507

Joke of the Day

"What do dads say when they see someone peeing? European."

"Doctor: I'm sorry, but your Dad's in a coma. Teen: Huh? Doctor: He's in airplane mode now. Teen: OHHH NOOOOO!!"

"My dating service, ""It's Just Oral"" is really taking off!"

"Mankind is capable of unimaginable feats of engineering and yet the windows on the airplane never line up with the seats."

"Roses are red... Valentine's Day is Crap! I don't have a girlfriend so FAP FAP FAP!"

"What's the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger."

"[first date] *Ok don't let her know you're a vampire* ""Would you like a mint?"" *reaches in pocket, pulls out SPF 5,000,000,000* ""Dammit"""

"What did one egg cell say to the other? I'm not ovary fond of you"

"BBQ club Do you want to join my BBQ club? > are there any girls in it? No, right now it's just a big ol sausage fest"

"Why did the lizard go on a diet ? It weighed too much for its scales !"