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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish child needs some money So he asks his father, ""Father, may I have fifty dollars?"" The father says ""Fifty dollars?! What do you need forty dollars for? I don't even have thirty dollars!"""

"Do you like oranges? Well I am bad at colloquialisms! How you like them oranges?!?!"

"OH in the bathroom: ""Thank God I have another pair of panties in my bag, I shit all over these"". What. The. Fuck."

"What do you call a dead asian? A failure"

"Only mass transit kids will get this! We rank the top rails, the third one will shock you!"

"My grandma is going to vote for Hillary... She's been dead since 82."

"What do you get when you plant a loaf of bread? A bakery."

"So this kid in my anatomy class asked where the gluteus maximus was... In my opinion it was a dumb, ass question."

"What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very hungry."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? I couldn't unscrew your mom."