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Joke of the Day

"Do you like oranges? Well I am bad at colloquialisms! How you like them oranges?!?!"

"[day 1] hello, world [day 2] bit less wobbly today [day 7] making other deer friends. getting funny looks tho [day 26] turns out i'm a hippo"

"I had a parrot that talked . . . but it never said, ""I'm hungry."" So it died."

"In a perfect world you'd be able to mark people as spam in real life."

"You raised me and taught me everything I know. Happy Father's Day, internet."

"What sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother."

"Boss: why do you deserve this promotion? Me: goes into very in depth pointless rant B: what drugs are you on? Me: good ones *leaves*"

"4: I'M GONNA RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT Me: Stop yelling violent things 4: *whispers* I'm gonna rip your eyeballs out"

"Me: So tired Brain: IKR!! But wait, who organised the alphabet... M: Please don't B: N how do we know it's not actually disorganized?"

"*Watching YouTube videos* Boss: What are you watching? Me: .... Boss: ... Me: Church? Boss: That's a dog on a unicycle. Me: Praise The Lord!"