205500

Joke of the Day

"I took my wife to Hawaii for our 25th wedding anniversary. You know what I did for our 50th? Went back and got her."

"East and West Germany In West Germany your job determines your Marks. In East Germany Marx determines your job."

"Twitter=Whats happening? FB=Whats on your mind? FourSquare= Where am I? Quora=what? Youtube=What Im watching. LinkedIn=Whats in it for me?"

"JESUS: everyone loves me GABRIEL: wat about judas GOD: o snap JESUS: dad GOD: u've just been... JESUS: dont do this GOD: TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL"

"I'm not into Russian dolls anymore. They are so fucking full of themselves."

"Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas."

"Why can't T-Rex's Hi-Five each other? Because they are dead."

"This chick at Walgreens is totally hitting on me. What's your name? What's your address? Do you have any questions for the pharmacist?"

"What did Will Smith say to Carleton when he asked if he was ready to leave their yoga class? Nah I'ma stay."

"What did the mama frog say to the baby frog when they left for a party? ""You better amphi-BE-ON your best behavior."""