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Joke of the Day

"Check up I went for a health check-up the other day, the doctor said, 'you've got to stop masturbating' I said, 'Why?' He said, 'Because I'm trying to examine you'."

"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? denimdenimdenim"

"I told Siri to use Bing instead of Google.. We both laughed."

"Tried to challenge the guy in the stall next to me to a thumb war, now he's holding my hand & crying about his childhood. I need to wipe."

"On a flight I asked the guy behind me if he minded me reclining my seat. He said he did. It really put my back up."

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

"What do you call a dirty Jew? Alive."

"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogey in it"

"If turkeys go extinct and we start eating giraffes for Thanksgiving, I got dibs on the neck."

"Two ants, Jack and Rose, are sitting on a leaf on water. Suddenly, a small tide comes and upturns the leaf. Only the girl ant sinks... ...because the other is a buoy ant"