25700

Joke of the Day

"Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas."

"What's 6"" long, bent to the left, and in the front of my pants?? My iPhone 6."

"What do you call it when an author catches you off guard with innuendo? Surprise subtext."

"North Korea launched ICBM today Good news for them, it managed to make it out of Pyongyang this time"

"I hate when I show up to a funeral and another guy is wearing the same hot dog costume."

"*first date (Me, texting) This is awful. She's boring, has no sense of humor & rude Her: You know you speak out loud when you text, right?"

"Why was the man selling CDs at 12:30 a.m.? Because his mixtape was to die for..."

"What did the duck say to the avacado? guac guac"

"I wrote a best-selling book titled ""How tostick a lamp up your ass"". AMA! Except for how to get to the lamp out of your ass."

"Media, stop using the phrase 'breaking news'. It's been broken for some time now."