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Joke of the Day
"Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas."
Next Joke
"Guess what? Elephant Butt"
"A guy goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide The librarian looks at him and says, ""Fuck off, you won't return it!"""
"Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face."
"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle His wife is already pregnant"
"My fourth grade teacher told me I would use cursive at least once a week, but she was wrong. I use it every day when food is delivered to my house."
"Q. What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase? A. ""It's okay Daddy I'm not hurt."""
"Life was dangerous when I was young. We answered the phone never knowing who was on the other end."
"You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail."
"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you've got 5 more rounds in the chamber. You'll get that moon eventually. He'll pay for what he did."