2054
Joke of the Day
"I thought I really understood what I was thinking, and then I spoke."
Next Joke
"If I could pick a superpower it would be to clone myself so the other me could answer the 4,291,386 questions my 4 year old asks daily"
"Why is the fungus such a hypocrite? because it doesn't have mushroom to talk."
"I just heard a horrific story about a man who left his house without his phone."
"My creepy neighbour asked me if I think he's creepy. The fact that he asked through my bathroom window after my shower just made it awkward"
"What's that one place in Thailand called? Ahh Phuket. Nevermind."
"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but i've been tripping all day!"
"Me: Alexa, are you listening even when I don't say 'Alexa'? Alexa: No, I only listen when you say 'Alexa'. M: Thanks A: Welcome M: Hey!"
"How many chauvinistic male pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark."
"My grandfather was an ace dog fighter he taught Michael Vick everything he knows!"