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Joke of the Day
"My grandfather was an ace dog fighter he taught Michael Vick everything he knows!"
Next Joke
"Very sad to hear about Donald Trump. Nothing happened to him I'm just sad to hear about him"
"What's a pirate's favorite video game? **Call of Booty.** Because there's mighty phat loot and booty ta be pillagin' and plunderin', matey."
"When people go underwater in movies, I sometimes like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. I died in Finding Nemo"
"Like ""dollar,"" ""euro"" is not capitalized. Unlike a dollar, a euro can actually buy you something."
"Justin Bieber should thank Elton, Adam, and Ricky for making his closet a walk-in."
"Beethoven hyping the crowd. Beethoven: YOU WANNA HEAR A SYMPHONY? *crowd cheers* Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"I lit candles & put a trail of rose petals all over the house in confusing patterns so my husband can't find me drinking in the closet."
"Who's the aardvark's favorite female vocalist? Bearbara Streis-ant!"
"Why didn't the Mexican go bow hunting? Because he didn't habanero"