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Joke of the Day

"When people say ""Let's not get off on the wrong foot here"", I reply ""Please don't get off on either of my feet""."

"They don't have blood banks in England ... ... but they do have a liver pool."

"Yo mama is so fat, she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge."

"If God had wanted us to drink in moderation he wouldn't have put wine in barrels. #inspiration"

"My Grandfather died in a concetration camp. He fell out of a really tall guard tower. so sad r.i.p"

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrarri? Porcupines have pricks on the outside."

"Chuck Norris can ride his bike with no handlebars..............or wheels"

"What's the worst thing about kidnapping and raping a young child to death in a dark alley? Getting blood all over your clown suit"

"I read in the 1930's teething babies were given cocaine. Ridiculous! If they had tooth ache they probably didn't even want to party."

"What is a vampire's sweetheart called? His ghoul-friend. "