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Joke of the Day

"They don't have blood banks in England ... ... but they do have a liver pool."

"Did you hear the joke about Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth? I guess I'll tell you all about it when I see you again."

"I tweeted about Darth Vader wearing Depends earlier. Since then, two Vaders and have ""followed"" me. I'm getting choked tonite. Help."

"Wife: Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite! Me: Haha funny. [under the mattress] Bed Bug King: TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL *tiny drums bang*"

"Elton John was asked if he'd like an iceberg lettuce in his salad he thought for a moment and replied ""no thanks, I'm a rocket man"""

"JUST ONE MORE STD TILL I'M OFFICIALLY A JERSEY SHORE MEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Did you hear? Oxygen and Magnesium are dating. When I found out I was like OMg!"

"I hate putting my clothes in the washing machine... they always seem so agitated when I take them out."

"Two zombies were playing a game of poker The first one threw his hand in the pile and the other laughed his head off."

"Awful pun I came up with whilst drunk last night. Who is the Australian Frankesntein's favourite singer? Rihanna, mate."