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Joke of the Day

"[texting gf] February 13th ""I think we should spend some time apart"" February 15th ""Ok that was enough time"""

"A parkourist walks into a restaurant He sees 5 jars. ""What are those?"" The waiter says ""Some are suger, Summersalt"""

"Top three reasons he doesn't text you back: 1. He's just not that into you 2. He's imaginary 3. He's a cat"

"Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic."

"Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you just plow thru Uranus because it's all gas. I cannot respond maturely."

"What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson? He stank to the bottom of the pool!"

"Richmxnd's life."

"So I was playing poker with a few lepers... when someone threw in a hand."

"Monsters, Inc. 3: It's harder to make kids laugh The Internet has made them jaded The monster need help They teach the kids to smoke pot"

"Did anybody hear about the the peeping Tom who was caught? He was beaten up so badly they sent him to the ICU."