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Joke of the Day

"Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you just plow thru Uranus because it's all gas. I cannot respond maturely."

"[marriage counseling] She thinks I'm stupid ""He covers himself in baby powder before we have sex"" HOW ELSE DO YOU MAKE A BABY, KAREN?"

"What do you say when you see two fetuses making out? ""Oh get a womb"""

"What do you call a fox with one leg? Terry :D"

"What did Chuck Norris told his father when he left home for college? You are the man of the house now."

"Math and meth sound the same but one is a life ruiner and the other one is meth."

"If someone says ""With all due respect,"" what follows is the verbal equivalent of a captive chimp hurling feces at you."

"I've spent 43 years not being productive, skinny, rich & famous. Why start now?"

"Headphone....... A man was on a plane when a stewardess approached him and said, ""Would you like some headphones?"" To which the man replied, ""Yes I would, but how did you know my name was Phones?"""

"Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere! source: https://twitter.com/AntiJokes_Kapil"