205022

Joke of the Day

"A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone. ""Morning!"" he said. The other man replies, ""No, just having a shit"

"So a pedophile, an alcoholic and a priest walks into a bar he sits down"

"What did the vegan say when he saw someone familiar? I've seen herbivore."

"Homeless people wouldn't be half as poor if they didn't waste all of their money on sharpies and cardboard."

"I think my wife is dead I mean, the sex is no different, but the dishes keep piling up"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Cyclops Barbie ...one eye right in the middle of her forehead; Cyclops Ken sold separately"

"Coworker: My arms are killing me from hoeing in my garden this weekend. Me: Thanks but I'd rather not hear about your sex life."

"Who were the shortest people in the Bible? Let's see. There's Kneehighmiah, Bildad the Shoe-Height...oh, and Peter, who said, ""Silver and gold I have none,"" and no one could be much shorter than that."

"When life gives you AIDS... Make lemonAIDS"

"I scare off men like I'm some kind of evil clown hiding in their closet. ""I'm not a clown!"" I shouted as I sniffed his sweater vest."