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Joke of the Day
"I think my wife is dead I mean, the sex is no different, but the dishes keep piling up"
Next Joke
"(OC) what kind of headphones does Rhianna wear? Beats by kanye"
"When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress."
"It just seems crazy that the final apocalypse could be started by a guy who says ""You're fired"" every time he launches a nuke."
"The Comcast repairman asked if he could use my bathroom. I guess he had to cut some cable."
"[arguing w girlfriend] Her: I feel like we have communication problems. Me: srsly? wow I text u like every day."
"Q: What are the three types of men? A: The handsome the caring and the majority."
"A MEXICAN AND A BLACK MAN JUMP OFF A ROOF. WHO LANDS FIRST? A: WHO CARES"
"You know you're ugly when you call yourself ugly and no one disagrees with you."
"If Shrek can find love, so can you."