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Joke of the Day
"So a pedophile, an alcoholic and a priest walks into a bar he sits down"
Next Joke
"Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals. Juliet: Really? Romeo: Yes bicycle pedals."
"Why do aspirins work? Because they're white."
"I want my boyfriend to get a tattoo on his neck so I won't have to worry about him getting a job and not having time to hang out with me."
"What's the only thing worse than a worm in your apple? Reposts"
"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an atheist, an insomniac? A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog."
"While at our wedding, I pointed out to my wife-to-be... that her her veil wasn't nearly opaque enough. She responded by discreetly implying she would hit me. It was a thinly-veiled threat."
"What's the difference between a bad golfer, and a bad skydiver? The golfer goes ""*Whack* Damn!"" The skydiver goes ""Damn! *Whack*"""
"I bet Bram Stoker is sitting on some cloud, flipping through the Twilight books with a raised eyebrow, wondering what the hell happened."
"There once was a man from Dupree, Whose limericks ended on line three. I don't know why,"