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Joke of the Day

"Homeless people wouldn't be half as poor if they didn't waste all of their money on sharpies and cardboard."

"So if he didn't invent the internet... then why does everything in it run on ""Al Gore rhythms""?"

"What did the bra say to the hat? Go on ahead I'll give these two a lift"

"Be nice to me or I will rain down Hell upon you when I start my blog."

"Daughter: why does that guy with the whistle keep interrupting the football game? Me: because mommy isn't there to do it."

"I really wanted to remarry the woman I divorced a year ago, but she said I was only after my money."

"Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that are excited for the car ride until we realize where we're going."

"The doctor told Harry Potter to drink 2L of Water a Day, but Harry didn't listen. Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone."

"I found a website with guaranteed real virgins [NSFW] [www.9gag.com](http://9gag.com)"

"Perfect example of good & Bad luck Wind blows a girls skirts high (Good luck) At the same time dust falls into the boys eyes (Bad luck)"