205021

Joke of the Day

"Oh, you fell in love?! I fell in my bathtub."

"There is a new app. that tells you how smarter your dog is. Here's how it works :- If you bought the app. your dog is smarter than you."

"Why did Bill Gates get sick? Because he left the Windows open."

"people don't want art, they want garbage. and thats what i sell. i've been losing some business to the art store next door but thats a fluke"

"What do bullets and I have in common? We don't miss Harambe."

"At the Olympics a man walked up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?"" ""Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name ist Walter?"""

"I refrain from jogging in the morning because according to Law & Order: SVU there is a 95% chance you'll find a dead body"

"Stormtroopers never miss. They're just trained to fire a 21 shot salute to celebrate the commencement of every firefight."

"I was the beast man at my sister's wedding, and there isn't a day goes by that I don't wish that that was a typo."

"Batman based his superhero off what terrified him most. If I followed the same logic my superhero would be ListeningToVoicemailsMan."