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Joke of the Day

"people don't want art, they want garbage. and thats what i sell. i've been losing some business to the art store next door but thats a fluke"

"Why can't you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in a tree? Because they are really good at it"

"My favorite sex position? Boy there's so many to choose from. Ha Ha. *starts sweating* I'd have to pick, um, reverse...shortstop? I gotta go"

"Just tried to massage a stressed worm but I did it too hard and now it's dead and arguably more stressed than before"

"Tip: Instead of doing that thing where you obviously crop your ex out of the photo, you could actually just take a new picture."

"The punchline was in the title Why did all the redditors downvote the joke?"

"7:55 pm: Pours Diet Coke over fries to prevent self from eating them. 8:03 pm: Eats soggy Diet Coke fries."

"My girlfriend might not be the sharpest girl around. I accidentally left my phone at her house last night. I went back over to get it and saw she had texted me 5 times telling me I forgot it."

"I once met a man from Nantucket... ...He didn't understand limericks, either."

"Condom Q. What did the penis say to the condom? A. ""Cover me. I'm going in."""