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Joke of the Day

"Thug: *shows tattoos of tear drops* So I remember each person I've killed. Me:*shows tattoo of an oven* So I remember to turn off the oven."

"Vegeta truly had his karma come back to him. He got married and had kids."

"One day a wife complained.. ""This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."" The husband grunted and replied, ""The darn clock always was slow."""

"I recommend everyone to go swimming with piranhas. It's a once in a lifetime experience."

"What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled. ( )"

"Just realized why women love shoes over clothing, because no matter how much weight they gain, the shoes still fit."

"If I win this lottery I'd give half to charity She treated me well at the strip club"

"I'm taking an ornithology class as an elective to boost my GPA. It's a bird course."

"Reddit comments are just filled with so many bad puns... that it should be renamed Geddit."

"What's Justin Bieber's favorite make of car? Voltz-swaggin. I thought of this myself and I am so, so sorry."