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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled. ( )"

"At this point, a phone book is just a list of people who recently died in their homes before cancelling their landline."

"I like my women how I like my wine. 8 years old and locked in a cellar."

"Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father ""Pop what's a millennium?"" ""Well"" he muttered ""I think it's something like a centennial only it has more legs!"""

"I don't even like sports but I'm excited for next year's superbowl... Because it will be Superbowl L"

"I just read a list of ""100 Things To Do Before You Die"". I was pretty surprised that ""yell for help"" wasn't one of them."

"Did you hear that the Pope might quit? I guess there's just not enough altar boys to go around in the Vatican"

"trying to be funny is hard I wake up in the morning with a good one and no one is around to hear it."

"Why did gays started to join NSA? They thought it stood for 'no straight allowed'."

"ME: *brings my mom to a knife fight* MOM: *shouting* use your words! MOM: *chasing knife fighters away with a broom* I know your mothers!"