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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick up your ass."

"Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead"

"She often thinks about what life may have been outside the asylum, had the cashier refrained from putting her change on top of the receipt."

"why does everyone scream when they see you? because your ugly!"

"Party Questions by age 1-12: Will there be a Bouncy House? 17-20: Will there be alcohol? 22-27: Theres no kids right? 30+ Who's bday is it?"

"Dinosaurs went extinct because they heard Chuck Norris was coming."

"But baby, if you didn't want me climbing in your window, why'd you leave the ladder in the garage behind the workbench chained to the beam?"

"Today I was asked by a Red Cross member if I could help towards the floods in Pakistan I said I would, but I don't have a hose that reaches that far"

"Most technology problems can be fixed two ways: 1) Turn it off and on. 2) Don't be an idiot."

"Whats the hardest part about eating vegetables? The wheelchair"