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Joke of the Day

"Son: ""Dad, can you give me 30 bucks?"" Dad: ""20 bucks? What the hell do you need 10 bucks for?!"""

"Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait... Regular or Asian?"

"Whats long and green and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger."

"Why did Shakespeare break up with his girlfriend? Prose before hoes."

"My wife gave birth to twin boys the other day. And I've decided to name them Jerry and Forgery."

"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Bonus: Knock knock. Who's there? Not the little girl... EDIT: Pardon the crappy delivery, english isn't my fist language. ;)"

"The big news story tonight is about the balls being too small . . . At the state of the Union address!"

"My coworker is pregnant and they passed a card around and I didn't know what to write so I just put HAVE A GOOD BABY TANYA"

"My parent trap worked perfectly. I now have five parents."

"Apple Watch now comes with a new app... It estimates how long you will have to wait in line for the Apple Watch 2.0."