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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Mexican that loses a car? Carlos."
Next Joke
"You'd think atoms bonds would mean they were being friendly to each other... But, they end up stealing each other's electrons. Isn't that ionic?"
"""We were trapped in the elevator and had to make a terrible decision"" Which was? ""We ate Bill"" OMG. How long were you in there? ""4 minutes"""
"When people show me pictures of their kids I show them pictures of my exes. If I have to look at their mistakes, they have to look at mine."
"Never kick a porcupine wearing flip flops. Cause they're obviously on vacation and why ruin their holiday?"
"Just got unfollowed by exorcist scary looking lady with crazy eyes who has ""will get in cars with strangers"" in her bio. I'm hiding........"
"A friend of mine has a left foot fetish. It's just not right."
"Has anyone seen the new Ebola video ? I heard it went viral."
"After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. Usually at family gatherings where she threatens me if I don't look happy."
"Old Chinese proverb: Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted."