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Joke of the Day
"The monster spent a fortune on deodorants before he found out that people didn't like him anyway."
Next Joke
"I wish I had taught my dog the command ""Taylor Swift"" so every time it snowed he would just ""Shake It Off."""
"Don't you hate when you take a power nap and wake up 22 hours later and everybody at work is staring at you?"
"What does a massage therapist with a speech impediment who moonlights as a dubstep dj do all day? Wub, wub, wubs."
"Vegetarians live up to nine years longer. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years."
"Why use 2 A's in the name Aaron? Why not 17? What's stopping us?"
"A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said ""Look Mom! No Hans!"""
"What's the difference between a zombie and a redneck? One is a brainless, dirty, slow moving abomination, and the other is a zombie."
"I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to help me put a bunch of ducks in my car."
"Happy Easter!... Sorry it's a bit early, I suffer from premature congratulation."