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Joke of the Day

"Vegetarians live up to nine years longer. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopuss"

"Today I was wondering ""why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?""... ... And then it hit me. - Steven Wright"

"Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children? With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore."

"My son said he didn't think Seinfeld was funny Turns out he's not the Wiz"

"What do women and floor tiles have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years."

"What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheeeeeettttt!"

"The bottle said to apply liberally So I bitched and complained the whole time I used it."

"What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A chocolate ba-a-a-a"

"i know a place where the recycling rate is 99% /r/jokes"